I swear to god, if you bail on me like everyone else in my life I will truly and honestly stop believing that any human being can be decent and loyal and never will I again allow anyone to enter my life, I feel myself dying everyday.
So tired of one night stands, I want a girl I can be completely in love with and enjoy her company, be able to have sickening public display of affection, shower and smoother her in gifts, be able to jump in the car and drive for hours with just the company of one another, be able to feel comfortable even when were dead silent and have nothing to talk about, be able to just lay in bed in a cold morning and keep eachother warm, make stupid and most probably unrealistic plans to go overseas and spend months away, be able to show her off to my friends and make her feel special, play games when were literally so bored we could tear our eyes out, have spontaneous, hot sex in public places when were feeling just a little kinky, be able to try new things even if we think it sounds really boring, take her out somewhere nice when Im feeling just a bit cute, be able to remind her everyday that shes special, beautiful, important, relevant, be able to surprise her everyday, make her smile even when she thinks she cant, learn new things about each other everyday and surprise each other even when we think we know everything about each other, argue but have hot, angry make up sex 3 hours later, feel safe, comfortable and miss each other when were not together, be able to confide in each other and tell everything, the honesty, the sincerity in each others voice when were scared were going to break up. I almost puked writing this, but I wanna feel important to someone again, I want someone I can run away to when all else seems hopeless, I want that safety of a relationship and that special someone I can one day love and treasure with all my heart, become part of her family and have strangers love me because I’m a part of her. I honestly hope Im not the only guy that feels like that, because in my honest opinion I think the world needs more people like me.
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with me, I treat them well, I’m friendly and I’m constantly trying to make them happy, but as soon as I begin to get attached and finally have some shot at being happy, they walk out of my life and stop talking to me. I’m loyal, I’m honest, I have morals and would do anything for them, why is it so hard for me to find someone to stick with me. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t be attracted to anyone and it would literally be impossible for me to be lonely, that way life would be easier. Romance is dead, relationships are dead, from this generation onwards there will never be happy relationships again because everyone is fucking dead inside because a few sad fucks that ruin it for everyone. I will not try for anyone anymore, from now on I will treat everyone mean, because I’m sick of sticking my neck out for people an being spat on. Society has become something that is slowly killing everyone inside and someday people will completely despise the company of one another. That way I can be alone and not want to jump in front of a semi-trailer when I see a happy couple.
Sometimes I wish I could just try again with all the girls I messed up with, maybe they could have been the right one.
I want to hold your hand and I want to hold your hips down while you’re writhing.
I want to make your eyes light up and I want to make them roll in the back of your head.
I want to be your reason to wake up and your reason to stay in bed.
I want to kiss your wounds and I want you to leave them on my back.
I want to play with your hair while you sleep and I want to feel it between my fingers while you are on top of me.
I want to memorize the repetition of your breathing and I want to memorize the sporadics of your moaning.
I want to see the arch in your grin and I want to feel the arch in your back before you collapse.
I want to go out to dinner with you and I want to go down on you.
I want to to feel you in my heart and I want to feel you inside me.
I want to make you laugh and I want to make you scream.
I want to still be able to taste you in the morning.
I want you in every form.” – (trm) Desire (via fuckinq)